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Hayda Loral

What became of the lady in black? Who scrawled her name in ruby red lipstick all over the mirror in the moonlight? The lady who was to become a woman within, her sleek black body suit and modest crop disguising a deep, hidden beauty. Her eyes are alluring in the shadows, but she has been banished from grace. By dark, she will charm all who became her. Touch me then. x x x

I've had my hair cropped!

24/6/2014

 
I've had my hair cropped!
Much shorter for summer. x x Hope you like it x
Picture

Why patriarchy fears the scissors - for women, short hair is a political statement

28/1/2014

 
It's interesting to hear from other Women and their stories. x x

x A lot of these sentiments I can relate to, as I have had short hair for most of my life since i was 18, young and rebellious, and decided upon a "change"... x

Although I am no longer trying to please men in general. ❤️xxx

Laurie Penny on hair: Why patriarchy fears the scissors - for women, short hair is a political statement

​Choosing to behave consciously as if the sexual attention of men is not my top priority has made more of a difference to how my life has turned out than I ever imagined.
Picture
NATALIE PORTMAN WITH A SHAVED HEAD. PHOTO: GETTY
The “manosphere” really hates short-haired girls. On “game” forums and in personal dating manifestos, the wickedness of short-haired women pops up time and time again as theme and warning - stay away from girls who’ve had their hair chopped off. They’re crazy, they’re deliberately destroying their femininity to “punish” men, but the last laugh will be on them, because the bitches will die alone. Yes, there are people who really believe this. In 2014.

This week, a writer going by the handle Tuthmosis put out a short article explaining why “Girls With Short Hair are Damaged”. The piece has now received over 200,000 interactions on Facebook, so I’m not going to link to it again here. If you scrape through the layers of trolling, though, Tuthmosis’ logical basis for declaring short-haired women “damaged” is pretty interesting. 

He writes that long hair is “almost universally attractive to men, when they’re actually speaking honestly. . . Women instinctively know this, which is why every American girl who cuts, and keeps, her hair short often does it for ulterior reasons . . . Short hair is a political statement. And, invariably, a girl who has gone through with a short cut – and is pleased with the changes in her reception – is damaged in some significant way. Short hair is a near-guarantee that a girl will be more abrasive, more masculine, and more deranged.”

The essential argument is: men like long hair, and what sane woman would ever want to do anything that decreases her capacity to please men? 

The advantage of articles like this, pantomimic though they be, is that they make misogyny legible. There was a time when feminists had to do that all by ourselves, but now we don’t have to point out the underlying assumptions of a lot of the bullshit we deal with every day, because there are people on the internet doing it for us.

So I’m almost grateful to Tuthmosis for writing this particular piece of recreational sexist linkbait. I thought I’d never have an even passably good reason to write about how little things like short hair change the way patriarchy responds to you.  

I’ve had short hair for most of my adult life. I keep it short partly because it suits me, partly because long hair is a whole lot of bother, but mostly because I don’t have a choice - my natural hair is limp and rubbish and doesn’t grow far past my shoulders without turning into witchy rat-tails. I’ve had a lot of fun with my boy-short crop. I’ve had it shaved, buzzed, dyed, undyed, a long pixie with a fringe, a half-head “Skrillesque’”, and I’m currently rocking what the blog Autostraddle calls ALH (“alternative lifestyle hair”), with a style somewhere between “Human League” and “Androgynous Emo Frontman from 2005”.  Of course, there are problems. To be frank, my hair is a great deal gayer than I am, and sometimes accidentally cashes cheques that my heart and loins don’t deliver, to the extent that I’ve considered letting my hair go out out to Candy Bar to play all by itself. It’s fabulous enough to pull it off. Anyway.​

I’ve experimented with growing the crop out twice, encouraged both times by men I was dating. It seemed like the thing to do to make myself more pleasing to potential boyfriends, potential bosses, and other people with potential power over my personal happiness. Both times, it looked awful. It took a lot of effort and a surprising amount of money to maintain, and it still looked awful, and I didn’t feel like myself. Growing it past my chin took determination, because every day I’d look in the mirror and want to take the razor to it right then and there. ​
I’ve experimented with growing the crop out twice, encouraged both times by men I was dating. It seemed like the thing to do to make myself more pleasing to potential boyfriends, potential bosses, and other people with potential power over my personal happiness. Both times, it looked awful. It took a lot of effort and a surprising amount of money to maintain, and it still looked awful, and I didn’t feel like myself. Growing it past my chin took determination, because every day I’d look in the mirror and want to take the razor to it right then and there. ​

​And yet, the amount of male attention I got – from friendly flirting to unwanted hassle – increased enormously. Not because I looked better, but because I looked like I was trying to look more like a girl. Because I was performing femme. Every time I cut it off, I noticed immediately that the amount of street harassment I received, from cat-calls to whispered sexual slurs to gropes and grabs on public transport, dropped to a fraction of what it had been – apart from total strangers coming up to tell me how much prettier I’d be if I only grew it out.  People have done this when I’ve been quietly working on my laptop in cafes, because I really need to be interrupted in the middle of a deadline to be told I need to work harder on my girl game.
Picture
The author, with short hair.
​Among the plus points for short hair is that makes it easier to read my book on the bus in peace. I mention this because there are clearly some men who rarely or never consider what it’s like for a person to negotiate femininity in the real world. There are plenty of reasons why a ‘sane’ woman might choose not to play up her ‘fertility signifiers’ every chance she gets, and not just because she’s got better things to do with her time.

My little sister has had the opposite experience. She has naturally long, thick, glossy chestnut waves, but recently she experienced a severe shock, and it started to fall out in clumps, which wasn’t something I thought actually happened in real life. It was a hugely distressing experience for her, and I went with her to get it cut into something more manageable while she waits for it to grow back. 

When I talked to her about this piece, she told me she really wasn’t expecting the loss of her hair to affect her as much as it did – nor was she expecting the number of unsolicited comments from male friends telling her she never should never have cut it off, not knowing she had a medical condition. 

For all that the “manosphere” bangs on about evolutionary psychology and the effect of such attributes as long, luscious locks as natural signs of “fertility”, what’s really noticeable is that that to get hair of any length to look like it does in catalogues and on catwalks takes work. It takes energy and money and attention. Especially if yours is naturally wild, or frizzy, or afro. It takes creams and serums and tongs and irons and spray and mousse and a deft, time-consuming blow-dry technique to get your hair to look like Kate Middleton’s, and that’s the point. The point is to look like the performance of femininity matters enough to you that you’re prepared to work at it. I know a good few women who do all this every day and nonetheless manage to hold down jobs, raise families and write books, and I remain impressed, but I’ve never had that sort of patience. 

Still, none of the women I know with long, pretty hair is anything like the “ideal woman” who’s spoken of in breathless terms on Men’s Rights Activism sites, Pickup Artist forums and in great canonical works of literature written and revered by men, because none of them are fictional. The “ideal woman”,  who wakes up looking like an underwear model, who is satisfied with her role as housewife and helpmeet but remains passionate enough to hold a man’s interest, who looks “bangable” but never actually bangs, because that would make her a slut, is almost entirely fictional. She exists mainly as a standard against which every real women can be held and found wanting. She exists to justify some men’s incoherent rage at being denied the ideal woman they were promised as a reward for being the hero of their own story. Tuthmosis’ stories about how short-haired women have frightened and disappointed him are oddly amusing: he describes how one “once came over to my house, texted with one hand, while she jerked me off with the other”.

If the story is true, you have to admire that sort of manual dexterity. Nonetheless, it seems to get at the crux of the problem that non-fictional women seem to present for a certain kind of man: we just aren’t paying enough attention to their boners. 

Tuthmosis is right, for all the wrong reasons. Wearing your hair short, or making any other personal life choice that works against the imperative to be as conventionally attractive and appealing to patriarchy as possible, is a political statement. And the threat that if we don’t behave, if we don’t play the game, we will end up alone and unloved is still a strategy of control. When I talk to young women about their fears and ambitions, it’s one of the main things they ask me about.
Picture
Short cuts: Jennifer Lawrence and Lupita Nyong’o.
​​​The idea that women might not place pleasing men at the centre of our politics, consciously or unconsciously, makes a lot of people uncomfortable. Sometimes it makes them angry. I am regularly asked whether I think that feminism ought to be “rebranded” in order to threaten men less, because anything a woman does, even attempt to chip away at a massive, slow-gringing superstructure of sexism, must appeal to men first, or it is meaningless. 

If making your life mean more than pleasing men is “deranged”, it’s not just short-haired girls who are crazy.

An infinite number of trolls with an infinite number of typewriters will occasionally produce truths, and on this point, yes, Tuthmosis is right. Chopping your hair off is “a political statement”. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve made bigger ones in my life. But choosing to behave consciously as if the sexual attention and comfort of men is not my top priority has made more of a difference to how my life has turned out than I ever imagined. And that sort of choice still worries a great many women and girls, who learn from an early age to fear what Roosh V, well-known pick-up-artist and Tuthmosis’ editor, warns all “sick women” seeking to “punish” men by cutting their hair: “being lonely and having to settle for a brood of cats is not a good life for a woman, but that’s what will happen if you keep your hair short.”

If I were really to stoop to the level of the original piece, I’d have to reassure readers that from personal experience, this sort of warning is there to be ignored. My own “game” hasn’t suffered at all from having short hair, and it’s a really good way of filtering out the douchecanoes. Neo-misogynists tend not to want to sleep with me, date me or wife me up however I wear my hair, because after five minutes of conversation it tends to transpire that I’m precisely the sort of mouthy, ambitious, slutty feminist banshee who haunts their nightmares, but if I keep my hair short we tend to waste less of each other’s time. If you’ve a ladyboner for sexist schmuckweasels, short hair isn’t going to help, although they might let you administer a disappointing hand-job. 

But if you want to meet men as equals, if you want to fill your life with amazing men and boys as lovers, as life-partners, as friends and colleagues who treat women and girls as human beings rather than a walking assemblage of “signs of fertility” – believe me, they are out there – then I wouldn’t start by changing your hair. I’d start by changing your politics, and surrounding yourself with people who want to change theirs, too.

Laurie Penny

Read More...

The New Me

17/4/2012

 
Keep on smiling. I'm flattered. How's my family? Bright and beautiful. The good handwork of God. We are fine, my angel. To God be the glory and honour. I'm nothing without Him. Lord is my strength and shield. Psalms 125. Will do me more good. Maintain my natural status. God's handwork on display. I look ravishingly beautiful. I look so glamorous here. I admire it. That's a nice picture. I look sweet.

These are just some of the comments I've received from friends and relas.

I look flushed and full of juice! xxx
Short hair! x
​What made me chop my hair off? This is something that I have done in the past, but I am always curious to hear from other Women and their stories. x It's a long weave not short my baby girl fixed. Am I not looking good in it?

Sorryl, can I repeat that for you please in plain English. Yes, I look youthful, practical and all neatly cropped, packaged up for work, like the original rebel!
Picture
Smart, elegant and sophisticated, the cropping of one's hair is symbolic: it elevates the girl to Woman status. It is a symbol of her maturity, and transgression from childlike innocence to adult refinement. It is also representative of the Woman's journey into work - administration, practicality and business sensibility. xx The neatly cropped, boyish fringes suggest a shedding of emotional ties, and the reduction of the self into a functional, efficient being. a non-frivolous, no nonsense and pragmatic look, with a natural, hidden beauty that emanates from within. Although the cropping of the hair is a deprivation, a loss of a vital, aesthetic and physical facet, hanging around your shoulders, it represents a simplification, a realism and acceptance of your inner self. x There is nothing left to lose: it is a new beginning, and you are free from the locks that bound you. Sister, I congratulate you on becoming enrolled into my sorority. Young, fresh and new, purified, undressed and ready for summer. I am proud of you! xxxxxxx

Lovely, peachy and nice x x x comfortable. xx Hi sweet girl? Hi! x What a lovely smile 😊x I look so small up there. xx peepo! x Wow, I'm being flattered. Yes! x. I can see, I'm blushing! x. A face flushed with a glowing red hue is brimming with happiness and good energy. A healthy, positive vibe and outlook, in reflection of my new hair. xxx

But please, what's the meaning of the "x"? It's a kiss! x. I like to sprinkle them about, liberally. xxx Share to be pear, don't pull people's hair, etc. xx  I look so beautiful! Easy to slip off for a night with your man! x ❤️x I'm beautiful. JUST LOOK at me! x wow. xox what an angel! x x x x Hot!. x I am pretty. The original rebel! x. I am hear! x still ensconced in the desirous radiance of this short bobbed beauty! x x x

New Hair

5/9/2011

 
New hair. x Harriet lopped the back and sides off. x Hope you like it.xxx
Picture

Hayda Loral is rather fond of her elven pixie crop. x

1/3/2011

 

That's me revealing my secret hidden beauty. Just after my hair was cropped. x Hope you like it xxx

15/1/2011

 
Zip me up, soldier!

I have a little niggle at the back of my neck. Every time I go to the Saloniere, I get it cut as short as the rest of my hair, but it always grows wildly out. What a nuisance!

Do you believe short hair renders one less of a Woman? x

You can see my back, ar!

​Do you believe short hair renders one less of a Woman? x

​This was just after I had it cropped, so, as you can imagine, I was feeling a touch self-conscious, yet relieved at shedding the weight that was falling around my shoulders. A new fresh start. Everything felt so light and I could feel the wind rippling through. I loved it!

Short hair is my identity! The original rebel.

Smart, elegant and sophisticated, the cropping of one's hair elevates the femme to Woman status.

Gone were the woeful waves of history weighing down my back, it was time for a fresh new start.

Practical and pragmatic, all neatly peach packaged up for work. When it is a job as hands on as mine, I have to dress - and de-tress - to impress.
Picture
crop. x
Kingsley you look good...

Hayda Loral thanks. x you like? x x

Oluwa ure owkei

Kingsley Yep, but a check or a hand xx

Hayda Loral zip me up, soldier! x

Oluwa Zipping tins......

Eziada I love it yoyoyo...xxx..yeayeayeayeayea....u luk exotic in d gown.beautiful angel loral hayda

Hayda Loral thank you darling, my sweet cherry plum pie! xxx i would say more of a dark angel ! x lololol x or an angel in disguise! x lol. xx

Eziada was wat he saw nd fell........xxxx...

Hayda Loral he fell! ? x i hope he didn't hurt himself.x it might have been quite a topple. x
crop. x


Hayda Loral i have a little niggle at the back of my neck,x every time i go to the saloniere, i get it cut as short as the rest of my hair, but it always grows wildly out. xx what a nuisance! x

Eziada Hahaha!nope he did nt fall o.

Hayda Loral xx

Kingsley I didn't fall, you know i can't, lol.

Uche d gown is kul bt d hairstyle emmm!dont realy lyk short hair on ladys..Bt it cool anyw

Hayda Loral do you believe short hair renders one less of a Woman? x

Hayda Loral you can see my back, ar! x

Hayda Loral do you believe short hair renders one less of a Woman? x


Uche am nt sure...i would hv loved long and black it maks u sexy..bt all the same u look sexy..i lv ur back

Wendy U luk gud loral....nyc hair too.....same with dos ones you sent to me

Hayda Loral thanks. x
this was just after i had it cropped, so, x as you can imagine, i was feeling a touch self-conscious.x
yet relieved at shedding the weight that was falling around my shoulders.x
a new, fresh start. x x
everything felt so light and i could feel the wind rippling through.x i loved it! xxx

Hayda Loral @ Uche short hair is my identity ! xx the original rebel.x x


Uche it suits u...

Hayda Loral thanks. x

Hayda Loral smart, elegant and sophisticated, the cropping of one's hair elevates the femme to Woman status. xx

Hayda Loral gone were the woeful waves of history weighing down my back, it was time for a fresh new start. x

Hayda Loral practical and pragmatic, all neatly packaged up for work.x
when it is a job as hands on as mine, i have to dress - and tress - to impress. x


Cypmario Lols...I like your gramatical presentation.

Hayda Loral thanks. x alliteration is a good by-word.
x always. xx

Vivian Pretty Hayda

Hayda Loral thank you Vivian. x you are wild! xxx
    Picture

    Hayda Loral

    Princess of the River & Sea. ​Alchemical Initiate of Ether.

    ​The hips curve, the arching spine, a heartbeat outside my own. In these lie resolution. X

    Touch me then,
    Hayda Loral
    xxx

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